17981 Peng XX, 8th Grade, Female

Translated by Neil Sun

When I was 9, my father often clashed with grandmother because of his drug abuse.  Later, my mother left us.  Within a few months, my father left me to my grandma's care.  It has been 4 years since I last saw my father and I’ve never asked my grandma about him.  As my mother and father left me one by one, I have become closeted more and more.  I did not trust anyone except my grandmother.  I felt I have nothing and nothing worth having.  I was completely desperate.

Grandma is my spiritual pillar and the only hope that keeps me motivated.  She has never complained but kept working to keep us alive.   We depend on each other.  We only rely on her 50 yuan monthly pension to maintain our basic livelihood.  To pay for my tuition, she had to sell a few chickens and pig.  In primary school, I was able to see grandma every day since the school is closer to home.  But now, I am distant from her boarding in my junior high years.  I am studying hard in order to fulfil the dream of my beloved grandma.

I had thought of giving up, but watching my weakening grandma, eventually I chose to insist.   Only by persistently studying can I change my destiny as I always believe "God closes one door and opens another".   So I believe!  For each difficulty I overcome, I forward one more step towards success.  Although difficulties hit me again and again in my short life, I did not give in and will not be defeated.

The trauma I had in my heart is soothed by my grandma little by little.   Before, I hated life for what I have been given.  With grandma’s continuous encouragements, I have gradually accepted the facts of life.  I want a good life for my grandma so that she does not need to work so hard.

I doubt if my dream to become a teacher can come true.  Junior high school is compulsory and subsidized by the government.  But the high school is self-funded and the tuition is high.  I am not sure if grandma can support me through high school and college.  I may be forced to give up.  Grandma often said to me: "My child!  Grandma is not tired, as long as you study hard and enter a good college.  Then I will be satisfied."  Every time I heard my grandma say these words, I cannot help but wanting to cry.  But I cannot cry because I'm afraid my grandma will be deeply saddened.  My teacher also said: "You are still a young child and cannot support yourself but a good education can lead you to success." 

So I chose to persist and I want to have a better future.


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